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Parody: The Literal Side Of A Long Distance Relationship

Relationships, something that everyone is currently running away from. Some want to try ‘Friends With Benefits’ while some who already are in a relationship from a long time, once in a lifetime, they certainly had to go through a phase of so-called ‘Long Distance Relationship’. The worst part begins when you tell someone that you are in a long distance relationship, they start assuming imaginary cute little stuffs in their own head between you two. But in reality, the exact scenario is completely different.

A long distance relationship is possible to last, majorly because of technology. Then comes understanding, trust and all that shenanigans. We’re here with another exciting article to give everyone a reality check on how exactly it is to be in a long distance relationship.

Trust me, this won’t make you go ‘awww’.

1. Time Zone

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Image: BuzzFeed

If you two share the same time zone, you are blessed. But if not, may the patience be with you. Time zone is a bitch and screws up everything. You need to plan your sleeping schedule as per some other country’s time zone. And compromising on sleep is such a pain!

2. Skype – A video-hanging app

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Image: Wanna-Joke

Whenever you plan to do a video call, especially over Skype, Mae sure you keep some time extra in hand. For, Skype let’s you talk less and hangs more, You see blurry images of your partner, or suddenly they just stop moving and the call is hanged, leaving them in a very weird pose, that makes you think, ‘What did I walk into.’

3. Phone Calls

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Image: BuzzFeed

If you both are in the same country, it is still better to talk to each other over calls, thanks to Jio. But you just cannot afford even a single international call.

4. Physically absent, Mentally present

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Image: BuzzFeed

‘Baby, even if I’m not there near you physically, I’m always there with you emotionally and mentally.’ How can you touch each other mentally? Probably compensating it by sending nudes?

5. Phone Sex / Sexting

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Image: Imgur

Couples in a long distance relationship, I think their keypad typing predictions must be automatically showing words like ‘F*ck You’, ‘Harder’, ‘Deeper’, ‘Faster’, “Don’t Stop’, ‘Ohhhh Yeah’, etc. Eventually, one would literally be sick of phone sex. And, if you share different time zones, you might see one having phone sex and masturbating during the morning.

And people say it is so cute to have video calls or adjust as per other’s routine. Honestly, it is not. The only good part about a long distance relationship is that you don’t have to share your food with your partner.

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