Come March and I start experiencing this unusual feeling of stress and pressure. And although it’s been years since I took my last one, exams always haunt me. Now, don’t get me wrong, I was a good student through my graduation years. But I screwed up high school big time! And what followed was a lot of Bollywood style drama at home. Ohh… the trauma I went through after the results was horrifying. I still get chills when I think about that time of my life.
But, as we all know exams never get over and life keeps moving. So, now when I look back I feel examinations are like your lovers, with just a slight difference. Their love for you is like SRK’s love for Juhi in the movie “Darr” – no matter how far you run, they always catch up with you. They are always there to haunt you and scare you. So, I thought I to delve a little deeper into my relationship with this lover, and share the reason why it became so creepy for me:
So, as I have already mentioned I was a good student, but once because of my lack of preparation for the exam, I had to cheat. You know the adventure that you feel when you are about to do something which is not your thing. That was what i felt back then and I think that is the same feeling “Rahul Gandhi” might have felt when he stepped into politics. We are all aware of his political career so far and that was exactly how my cheating experience was.
I had a piece of paper with “Kiran” written on it. No, not “Kiran”, “Rahul” maybe, but, that’s not important. The point is, it was the wrong chit and before I could realize my mistake, there was the “ACP Pradyuman” standing behind me. The invigilator, he was looking at me with all furiousness and before he said “Daya pata lagao”, I had to use my weapon. No, not tears, it was sorry, I thought of thanking Justin Bieber then and there. Trust me, I could have sung the entire song to the invigilator.
But, he was looking at me as if I am the one who is responsible for all the terrorist activities that happen. Yes, he was that furious and what could have I done, after all, I was caught- red-handed! Yes, I was now the criminal of cheating and I felt so embarrassed. The teacher even threatened to inform my parents about it. But, as disaster management was something that I was always good at, I succeeded in bringing the situation under control.
Yes, that’s how horrific my first cheating experience was, I can laugh about it now, but back then I was scared. Scared not only because of failure in cheating but also, because I had to stay awake till late at nights to study, I was not allowed to watch any movies, the trauma to finish the whole syllabus in one night, the fear that others will perform better, the anxiety of what will I do ahead in my life, if I don’t score good, the pressure to live up to the expectations of others and the list goes on. All of these experiences were adding up to the horror back then and it made the joy of my education a slave to the demon of examination.
Though, I am not very sure whether you have noticed my love for movies or not! That was the reason I needed to cheat. But, now, if I talk about the gyaan- “Exams are important”, you will hear this by everyone around, and it is true but, the one thing to keep in mind is: “Results are really not that important”.
Today, I am doing fine with my life despite how I performed in my high school. And I have made my peace with it ! So, enjoy the “Darr” as the “more you resist, the more it persists” and some day when the fear is over you can recite your tales of horror.